Wendy's Sneaks

I've often directed you to fun Amazon product reviews, but they're usually for silly, apolitical products, like banana slicers.  But now:  Folks weighing in on the type of Mizuno Wave Rider sneakers worn by Wendy Davis the other night.  A few quips:

--The next time you have to spend 13 hours on your feet without food, water or bathroom breaks, this is the shoe for you. Guaranteed to outrun patriarchy on race day.

--When I first began wearing these shoes I thought my reproductive rights were secure. Turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong. Luckily these shoes are really great for kicking republican legislators out of office! They want to shut down reproductive and health care facilities for the poor in Texas? Use these shoes to shut down the state capital!

--One star: I tried on a pair at the local mall and suddenly Texas Republicans started telling me what to do with my genitals. They started explaining reproduction to me like I was a seventh grader. Unfortunately, being male, I had no way to shut the whole thing down. I'm so confused...

--An essential tool for running down the clock in a state 773 miles wide and 790 miles long! These shoes are perfect for those days when you must spend 13+ hours standing, not lean on your desk or take any breaks - even for meals or to use the bathroom. The snazzy hot pink color brings out your inner badassness and helps you to "humbly give voice to thousands of Texans" and stop a "raw abuse of power" in its tracks. Raise a feminist army and lead the charge when your competitors cheat and change the rules on you. These Mizuno's are built to protect your feet from mudslinging and add sunshine to the political process. Highly recommended for fierce women and anyone who's not a Greedy Old Prick (GOP)