Folks weighing in on the type of Mizuno Wave Rider sneakers worn by Wendy Davis the other night. A few quips:
--The next time you have to spend 13 hours on your feet without food,
water or bathroom breaks, this is the shoe for you. Guaranteed to outrun
patriarchy on race day.
--When I first began wearing these shoes I thought my reproductive rights
were secure. Turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong. Luckily these
shoes are really great for kicking republican legislators out of office!
They want to shut down reproductive and health care facilities for the
poor in Texas? Use these shoes to shut down the state capital!
--One star: I tried on a pair at the local mall and suddenly Texas Republicans
started telling me what to do with my genitals. They started explaining
reproduction to me like I was a seventh grader. Unfortunately, being
male, I had no way to shut the whole thing down. I'm so confused...
--An essential tool for running down the clock in a state 773 miles wide
and 790 miles long! These shoes are perfect for those days when you must
spend 13+ hours standing, not lean on your desk or take any breaks -
even for meals or to use the bathroom. The snazzy hot pink color brings
out your inner badassness and helps you to "humbly give voice to
thousands of Texans" and stop a "raw abuse of power" in its tracks.
Raise a feminist army and lead the charge when your competitors cheat
and change the rules on you. These Mizuno's are built to protect your
feet from mudslinging and add sunshine to the political process. Highly
recommended for fierce women and anyone who's not a Greedy Old Prick